Keeping Mum? On the difficulties of becoming a mother as a PhD student
Medium, June 2018

Something is rotten at the heart of British academia. I began my PhD believing in the abilities of researchers to enact meaningful change. I will finish it without any such illusions, disgusted in the higher education system, having had my self-worth crushed by the process.

My experience of the PhD has been so devastating that at first I thought — and could have been forgiven for thinking — that I was alone; that I had fallen into a uniquely me-shaped gap, entitled to no help, either fiscal or pastoral. I recently learned, however, that I am not the only one, and though it might sound twisted, I rejoiced. I was certain that there was power in numbers; and yet in spite of a fast-growing movement that attempts to hold this failing system accountable, very little is changing.

My problems began when I fell pregnant in 2016, two and a half years into my PhD. I knew that it might be difficult for me to claim maternity allowance as I would give birth after the end of my three years of funding. A cursory glance at my funding guidebook told me that maternity pay was given ‘at the discretion of the university’ so it seemed unlikely that I, unfunded, would be due anything (other than a baby). Nevertheless, I chanced my arm and emailed around for answers. I was right; in spite of fitting the criteria for statutory maternity allowance (having worked continuously for at least 26 weeks continuing into the 15th week before my due date), the fact that PhD students earn under a tax-free stipend meant that I did not qualify for anything.

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