Misogyny and the Epidural: A Primer
Medium, November 2016

Let’s talk about childbirth, shall we? Nice, natural childbirth. Let’s talk about lying belly-up in an inflatable pool of detritus, humming and gnashing your teeth while looking at pictures of puppies. Isn’t it just everything you ever imagined it to be?

I was always terrified of giving birth. I called my mother after I watched the first episode of One Born Every Minute and told her, in no uncertain terms, that I was never going to be able to have a baby. She laughed at me and said I would, and she was right. Eight years after that conversation, I was looking at the window on a piss-covered litmus stick, where one pink line was darkening up beside another. I burst into tears—I was going to be a parent!—but they weren’t happy tears. Nope, no matter how much I wanted it, I wasn’t ready, because to reach motherhood, I was going to have to give birth.

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